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March 17, 2011

MY Project 365....my life ever after....((day 27))

So I am fully ready and intended on focusing myself here for certain the next few days...the past few have been borderline crazy....school, taylor, divorce, crafts, life, etc....adds up to A LOT at times...but I am balancing it all the best that I can...sometimes its easier said than done..but truth be told..i would not have it any other way.
I definitely want to get some rest tonite...so I am not going to go into a full on rant (expect that tomorrow LOL)..i need the sleep this evening..and I am so looking forward to my 5 hours of straight alone time, and crafting tomorrow and am determined to get A LOT done. So tonight..is just for me...(of course please enjoy the reading...as long as its REALLy for the RIGHT reasons....<we will hit on that one some more tomorrow>..
Life can leave you breathless sometimes...and I am not talking in the "he took my breath away sense"..i am saying...WHEW! I'm EXHAUSTED and sometimes there is just so much going on at once...
I do have to say tho...things are really peaceful right now for me...though I am overwhelmed, working so hard in so many areas and on so many things, enjoying every bit or parenting my beautiful and intelligent little girl...I feel very calm in the same sense....
Things were rocky there for a while too long of a while at the beginning of this whole "lets get a divorce, that you never thought in a million years would happen"..adventure my life decided to take me on...bickering, fighting, yelling...UGH...aren't those the reasons to not be together..so WHY would i want to indulge in this after separating...however...things have been going far more smoothly...compromising...agreeing...understanding...and just breathing again..and I have to say, it brings a whole new light and a much better outlook and perspective.
I have said it countless times, that I cannot imagine "this is my life..." this is my "marriage"...well end of my marriage...I truly never thought, this would be me....
BUT....life has other plans...and accepting that is more than half of the battle.....and I am so far past that hump that I am just so very ready to close the book, lock it up, duct tape it for extra security and JUST MOVE ON.
I have to say 90% of every situation is how you choose to take it, react to it, deal with it and what you make of it...if you let the situation make you, let it alter your beliefs, or compromise your feelings...if you react in anger instead of self responsibility..this is when you hit those walls, the bottom nears and sometimes, you just get all swallowed up by it all.
That is not me though, nor will it ever be. Life is not a contest nor a blame game. We could all spend all of our everydays picking those sort of things apart...but my already full days, have no sort of space for all of that negative energy...because who ends up hurt with any of that?...YOU!
We have to understand no matter what it is in our life that is going on...you can focus, decide and determine how you want to look at it, deal with it and think about it...and you yourself then can be gifted with a peaceful, harmonious outcome...instead of all the repetitive pain, nagging thoughts and emotions and anger.
To me those things are a waste of too many smiles and you then allow yourself to miss out on so much good....take everyday and everything for what its worth...nothing more nothing less....it all just is what it is....
until tomorrow....<3

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