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So....its the end of day 4 of this project of mine...funny how fast time already seems to be slipping by....
Everyday i find a little more peace, but yet I still continue to see one of us still holding so much hate in their heart....it hurts me to know, that someone that made vows to me, has to much distaste and resentment towards me...i find myself questioning whether not any of this really mattered...i find it easier to believe his words of anger, belittlement, disrespect...they seem to be more accurate and maybe i should have believed in those words a LOT longer ago and saved myself A LOT of pain, a LOT of confusion and a bigger piece of my heart...
I find the broken wing lyrics to be so fitting...to actually be TRUE to the life i lived...and if ever there is karma i do want it to show him HOW I FLY!!!!
She loved him like he was
The last man on Earth
Gave hime everything she ever had
He'd break her spirit down
Then come lovin' up to her
Give a little, then take it back
She'd tell him about her dreams
He'd just shoot 'em down
Lord he loved to make her cry
"You're crazy for believin'
You'll ever leave the ground"
He said, "Only angels know how to fly"
And with a broken wing
She still sings
She keeps an eye on the sky
With a broken wing
She carries her dreams
Man you ought to see her fly
One Sunday morning
She didn't go to church
He wondered why she didn't leave
He went up to the bedroom
Found a note by the window
With the curtains blowin' in the breeze
And with a broken wing
She still sings
She keeps an eye on the sky
With a broken wing
She carries her dreams
Man you ought to see her fly
With a broken wing
She carries her dreams
Man you ought to see her fly
***remember to count your blessings, and not take for granted what you have. If you have someone that loves you, LOVE THEM BACK, and if you can't, be honest with them, and end things ammicably. Be honest and be true. to yourself and to other. in each and every aspect of life. take the time to engrave the little memories into your mind, share an extra smile...and an extra hug. make sure the ones you do love KNOW that you love them, thank them for what they are to you and be gracious with goodbyes. know that even when things seem perfect, they can still fall apart, never put yourself above that chance, instead, make sure you know yourself and love yourself enough to know HOW to move on. avoid bad situations....if you have to fight to be loved, you are fighting a LOSING battle. Words always have a meaning, so if they are not nice, please be careful. Forgiveness is a FABULOUS virtue and one that we should all partake in...however it does not mean forgetting or living as anyone elses convenience, doormat, victim, or toy. Remember a lie is a lie, and one always leads to another, evaluate your situation...for yourself and your children. They do understand....they do know, even when we think we are hiding it...THEY GET IT...and we want to teach them the RIGHT way, independence and kindness, trust, loyalty and honesty...but we do not want them to learn that anyone desreved mistreatment, hate, ungratefulness or disrespect. We owe EVERYONE common courtesy at the least....decency and respect. You cannot change ANYONE, nor should you want to. And if you find yourself waiting for them to change, asking them to change, wishing them to change....YOU need to be THE CHANGE...by removing yourself from the equation. YOU CANNOT HELP ANYONE THAT IS NOT WILLING TO HELP THEMSELVES...my father has said that to me since I was little, and of all the things he said, that will always prove itself to be the most true. Be smart....allowing any of the negative is NO ONES fault but our own...we only get what we put up with....and i will never allow myself or my daughter to settle for anything less than we deserve...we will make OUR dreamsn come true, because its US not someone else that can do that.....
know who you are and what you stand for...otherwise...you will fall for anything....
Live, laugh, love.
You can find positive in EVERY negative...you can turn anything around into its own miracle...when you start believing in YOURSELF...and know WHO YOU ARE!!!! not who anyone else wants you to be!!!
Listen to yourself and to your friends....the outside view is often clearer....dont be afraid...the biggest regrets are the chances never taken, settling for something because we are afraid of having nothing...and losing our purpose on that rocky path.
SMILE> HAVE FUN and make a life worth living....and that is my everyday goal...from this point forward...and it has been BEAUTIFUL...(beauty doesnt have to be perfect...it can be abstract or ever ugly....its all in how you handle it...learn from it...and create it, to suit yourself...your life....your ambitions...)
You are the only person who can make YOU who you want to be!!!
<3
