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May 5, 2011

MY Project 365....my life ever after....((day 46))

Time to start picking back up where we left off!!! DEFINITELY!!!!
WOW...its been awhile..but I am not going to cheat and group all of those days together...I am just going to get back into the swing of things and I will give this blog its WHOLE 365 days..however long it takes me!!!

I am not even sure where to begin tonight...its definitely been a crazy, busy, often overwhelming, sometimes emotionally challenging, but none the less fabulous few weeks!!!! Business has been a BLAST..I am having so much fun creating!!! Coming up with more and more new ideas and always searching, looking for and thinking about more..what to do next...how to do it and so on.
Life can definitely be "interesting" and its often surreal...not to mention extremely unpredictable! We never really know where we may end up....its not always how we planned, or when or where we planned...but, it is all so worth it, and we are always, in every minute, right where we are meant to be!!!

More and more, I am coming to a place of peace in life...there have been a few bumps the past two weeks...because of course i should have known, HIS niceness could not last too long, and was just the preface to more BS, yelling and degrading..unfortunately, what he must not realize, is, its NOT me who needs to tolerate that anymore...nor will i...nor should i have ever!!!!
And then of course we have tay's father...if we can even remotely call him that, I am pretty sure, he deserves not even a hint of the meaning behind that word!!!
What a ridiculous situation that has unfolded there in the past month...one that i am no longer going to subject myself or my daughter to any longer!!!! i just do not have it in me. for YEARS i have followed my order, to a T, done everything i was supposed to and more..no matter how many times he broke it, ignored it, i gave it my all to encourage a relationship, begged and cried for him to open his eyes and change, pleaded...and what do i get...one weekend...her with him, ordering a potcher of beer, her evening knowing exactly what kind and how he carried it around with him and then off to the liquor store..only to NOT get up the next day, her to not havve a bath for 3 days, filthy, slept in the clothes i sent her in...never ate because he wouldnt get up until noon...SICK...no call on Easter...and then no call this past weekend..when he was due to have her..but, ask him, its ne that took her away and does this....IDIOTS~~~

I just refuse to live anymore of my life with the drama and bs in it! I do not need it, my child certainly does not need it...I have done nothing but push myself, since the day i walked out that door. I finished school, I have expanded business, I have created and created some more...I found myself again...and I do not let anyone steal it from me, for even a minute...I have cried, and I have laughed...My heart is healing...life is starting to make sense...and I am looking forward to every place that it takes me...
Always remember...life, God, fate...all have plans for you....opportunity comes where its meant to be. Never be afraid to take a chance, a risk,,,even if it takes you somewhere TOTALLY different!!! Beacuse we cannot get back those we pass by and life is to short to have the "What if i would have..." You can always change it later...twist it or turn it....but i promise..there is a reason for it....so be thankful, grateful....and just never be afraid to TRY. always stand up for you. Do not hold yourself or those important to you back, especially when dreams and goals are involved, support, love and take the chances, and leaps of faith wt them! You never know how beautiful where you end up might be!

Until next time......<3

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