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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME...
I have been so overwhelmingly busy....that i have not even had the time to think about a blog....however...tonite..needs one....
As promised...i will not cheat on counts and days...MY 365...may take 509...but its MINE, so that's OK!
I want to thank all of you for all the amazing wishes today....it brought me many smiles...and trust me, the more the merrier in this time of my life!!!!
This past year...has been the FARTHEST thing from easy....with as many new doors that opened...quite a FEW large ones closed...rather slammed.....
i have dealt with this all, everyday, in the best ways that i could...i have refused to totally crumble...I have dabbled in moments and hours of weakness in streams of tears and sleepless nights...I have asked God more questions than I can count....i have speculated and wondered....but i have SURVIVED..and will keep on doing so....
I would not wish on my worst enemy the pain that came with the end of my marriage....somedays the struggle presents itself again....however...I can work thru those struggles...I know I can do anything!!!
Its been a trying time in many ways....one where you learn, not everyone understands, how could they...and not everyone cares...and hey...who am i to judge!
However....
I write this blog...with total reason.....
My reason is...this is MY NEW YEAR....it did not start on 1/1...that was the beginning of a chapters end for me....but i have traveled a long way already in those 5 months....I have found ME again...and held tight to her!!!!! I will not let anyone tear that away...
Thru my pain i think i have continued to pay it forward...to be my best as much as possible and do my best in the same way and with the same intent!!!
I have supported and cheered for those around me...celebrated and supported their successes and happinesses....their joys..fears...changes and goals....Brought ideas and my heart to the table as much as possible....
I know in life we cannot expect that everything we give to be returned....but i walk into MY new year knowing this....
i expect not much from anyone...because setting expectations from others often leads to personal disappointment...however, i consciously say....I will not lose sight of my worth, my goals or ambitions...i will not back down from my beliefs and i will honestly always express my feelings...
That is who i am. i do not shy away from discomfort...i do not hide my truths or feelings...i do not use generalizations to determine my reasons....and I come to those i personally that i feel any bother with....
because that is how i would want to be treated..like an adult and like a friend....
I am ridding myself of as much negativity as possible and focusing only on what i can do to achieve that goal!
my dreams become more and more of a reality....and tho loneliness has become mmore of a friend than anyone....i know..one day...with all of the right people in my life...it too will pass!!!
But for now...i will just focus strongly...on ME, My angel...my life, business and dreams...i wll always offer my biggest support to those that need it....but more so those that want it....life is a two way street...at least my new one is...and tho i LOVE to give....we all have to feel a little returned to actually feel appreciated!!
I thank you all..for taking all of this journey with me so far....and look forward to seeing how much farther we wind up going......
until then....THANK YOU!!!!!!
